Chapter 8: Big Ears, Screaming Children, And A Doom-buggy

Chapter 8: Big Ears, Screaming Children, And A Doom-buggy

Meanwhile, in a mine deep below Disneyland, a character who hadn’t yet been introduced into the story was busy at work on an important project. As he put the finishing touches on his masterpiece, he smiled a goofy smile and his ears wiggled slightly.

Whenever the undersized fellow had seen Merlin roaming the park with his beloved Dulcinea, he had always been filled with awe.

Oh, I wish I could have a hat like Merlin’s…The mysterious runt had always thought in silence. Sure, he’d had his own floppy piece of fabric that he wore as a hat, but that had never quite done the job right, so he’d gotten rid of it. He wanted something much better. He wanted a bona-fide, original wizard hat…with the point-y end and everything.

And he knew a fancy wizard hat was good for so many things. Covering up bald spots was one of them, and our tiny fellow had no hair at all, so he was most in need of this. He also relished the chance to finally cover up his humongous, ungainly ears once and for all. Oh, how he hated those huge ears of his. They weighed him down and made him so clumsy…not to mention the fact that they wiggled uncontrollably at random times. Yes, it was time to finally hood his hearing appendages, so no one else could remark: “Oh, what cute big ears you have!”

He fumed whenever he heard that one.

But the most important attribute of a good hat was that it could be a friend. He had observed many times the silent affection Merlin had shared with Dulcinea, and he wanted to have that to.

So he had created his own wizard hat. He smiled again, this time a proud smile that reached from one huge ear to other huge ear. Oh beautiful hat, he thought as he lovingly caressed its long purple point, I shall name thee…Winnifred.

Little did our silly little friend know that Winnifred was actually William, but that’s a detail that will become apparent later on in the story. Right now, all that mattered was that a new friendship had been born.

And Dopey did so need a friend.

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Eugenia had suggested to her comrades that they first check Peter Pan’s Flight in their search for the White Rabbit, because after all, Alice and Peter were friends and maybe the White Rabbit was with Alice on the ride. Secretly though, Eugenia was relishing the chance to get on a pirate ship because they reminded her of her sweetheart, Barbossa.

So, the three evil matrons stomped their way through Fantasyland, glaring at everyone they saw, much to the dismay of frightened old men everywhere. As they got in line to ride Peter Pan’s Flight, the Queen of Hearts was questioning her friends on where they had last seen the White Rabbit, in an attempt to speed the search along.

“So! Where was the last place the White Rabbit was seen?” asked the Queen, in a gruff, commanding tone.

Eugenia and Cruella had looked at each other helplessly and shrugged, replying that neither had seen the Rabbit in ages.

“THAT’S VERY IMPORTANT!” The Queen had screamed, causing several passers-by to stop and stare (if they weren’t already).

“WRITE THAT DOWN!!!!” The Queen ordered. When everyone just stared back at Her Majesty in confusion, she grabbed an autograph book from a little girl without so much as a thank you, and began to write down the useless clue.

All three ignored the small child’s screams (they were used to that sort of thing by now) and waited patiently in line.

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Meanwhile, our dear Hatter was in way over his over-sized hat at the Haunted Mansion. The stretching room had really done a number on the poor fellow’s nerves. By now, his knees were shaking and he was having a difficult time holding himself up. Once he saw the shadow of the hung man in the ceiling of the stretching room, he decided that Merlin’s hat could find itself, and he was off the case. But those darn CM’s had been no help at all. They just pushed him onward toward the doom-buggies. As his doom-buggy closed down on him with a horrific, final thud, he thought of how appropriately named it was.

For this buggy was certainly bringing him to his doom.

-Mickeylover