Haunted Mansion backstory

It has come to my realization that there is some 'splaining to do about the Haunted Mansion's past. Behold the abridged version:


A sea captain named Captain Gore built a house for his beautiful young bride, Priscilla. Soon after the mansion was finished, however, Gore had to sail away on business and had to leave Priscilla behind. His instructions to her were that she was not to go into the attic and look in the trunks that were up there. Priscilla agreed to that, and Gore kissed her and sailed away into the New Orleans sunset, promising to return when he could.

Priscilla waited and waited for her husband and grew heartsick for him. One day, she became very bored and went into the attic to explore in spite of Gore's warning. After looking in the trunks, Priscilla found that Gore was, among other things, a bloodthirsty pirate. Gasp. Priscilla never had time to think about this, though, because someone came up behind her and killed her. It was Captain Gore returned from the sea, who did not take kindly to someone snooping about in his personal items. Little did he know, in the dim light, that the person he had just killed was his wife.

Upon discovering this, Gore decided to kill himself, as well. He rushed downstairs and hung himself from the rafters in the entrance hall, where they say, if you look above you at certain moments, when the light is just right and your Ghost Host feels like it, he will reveal his hanging earthly remains to you.

His wife, Priscilla, still waits in the attic for her husband to return, her heart beating on and on, a constant drum. Time seems to have forgotten what passed between them on that unfortunate night when identities were mistaken. But 'tis certain... Captain Gore has not.



And there you have it. My retelling of the gruesome tale behind the original attraction. Now the Mansion's tale has been changed: there is still a bride in the attic, but she is not Captain Gore's. Her name is Constance and she has a different story of her own.

Gore is still a part of the Mansion (the weather vane atop the building is a ship) and of course, he still hangs from the ceiling after the opening spiel. And if you happen to look to your right as you leave the first hallway and go into Madame Leota's seance room, you can see a small portait of Gore with a noose around his neck on the wall.

- Wisher

Chapter 13: Painting His Portrait

Chapter 13: Painting His Portrait

Gaston let out a rather feminine scream as he leapt off the couch where he had been posing for his portrait. He now stood looking quite embarrassed into the stunned faces of Eugenia and Queenie. Suddenly, the buff brute grew angry.

“What’s wrong with you? Why would you just barge in like that?!” Gaston shouted. Now, he was fuming. The portrait was meant to be a surprise for Belle. She would see how sexy he looked in the picture and decide he was so much better than that hairy dope she married and then she would come back to him. But now Eugenia and Queenie had seen him posing for it and they would tell everyone how amazingly good looking he was. His surprise would be ruined.

“We’re…uh… looking for the White Rabbit.” Eugenia responded when she finally remembered how to speak.

“OFF WITH HIS HEAD!” Yelled the Queen in haste.

Eugenia rolled her eyes and it was Gaston’s turn to stare in stunned silence.

“Have you seen the White Rabbit?” asked the former, ignoring her companion’s random outburst.

“OFF WITH HIS--” began the Queen, who was quickly silenced by a dirty look from an annoyed Eugenia.

“White Rabbit? No, of course I haven’t seen any--”

“But I have, Madame,” interrupted the artist who had, until that moment, gone unnoticed in the opposite corner of the suite. He left his easel to join the other three by the window. “He ran through here quite quickly while Gaston was looking into the mirror. He was muttering something about, ‘being late’. I’m afraid that’s all I heard.”

The Queen suddenly grew very intent and grabbed Claude (for that was the painter’s name) by his collar. “Where did the White Rabbit go, peasant? Tell me now or its OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!”

Eugenia attempted to calm down her friend. “Now Queenie,” she began, “ the gentleman just explained that he has no idea where the White Rabbit went. And frankly, I really think there’s no point in continuing this search for him. I mean, he could be anywhere by now…He could be in the Pirates ride or the---”

“THE PIRATES RIDE? THAT’S VERY IMPORTANT! WRITE THAT DOWN!!!”

“But Queenie, I didn’t mean—”

Alas, Eugenia didn’t have time to finish her sentence because the Queen of Hearts had already grabbed the poor woman’s arm and was pulling her out of the Dream Suite and towards the Pirates of The Caribbean ride.

Much to the relief of a dazed Gaston and a shocked Claude, who both slowly returned to their portrait business.

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Meanwhile, at 8:36 am in the real world, Mickeylover sat alone at her computer feeling depressed for more than a few reasons:

1) Although she greatly enjoyed Wisher’s Haunted Mansion storyline, she was ashamed to note that she had no idea of the tragic past that her friend referred to. Because of this, she could not continue that area of the story, and very much hoped that Wisher would elaborate in that respect.
2) She was also ashamed of the terrible quality of the writing in this current post she was about to publish. Could it be bad writer’s block or bad writing skills?
3) She had a bad bug bite on her leg that was driving her crazy.

So because of all this, Mickeylover ceased writing (lest she cause the characters to go on strike from her bad writing) and waited anxiously for Wisher to solve all her problems with her magical writing skills. Well, except for the last one.

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Meanwhile…
Merlin, Jack, Dopey, Dulcinea, and Flik were wondering what happened to their unfortunate storylines.

-Mickeylover

Chapter 12: Breaking and Entering the Realm of the Supernatural

Hello to those who might be reading our story! Mickeylover is taking a wee break from her writing, so you'll have to deal with two chapters in a row from me, Wisher. Here we go:

Chapter 12:

Queenie and Eugenia marched toward New Orleans Square. Queenie knocked people aside with her gigantic skirt while Eugenia followed behind, hoping the punishment of the White Rabbit would not take too long since she had a hot date planned with Barbossa for that night. They were supposed to go to a movie of her choosing (although Barby secretly loved chick flicks) and then have a candlelit dinner at the Blue Bayou. Eugenia closed her eyes and dreamed of Barbossa... oh, that beard... those yellowed eyes... that hat with it's scraggly purple feather...

"EUGENIA!"

Eugenia's eyes snapped open and she saw the Queen glowering at her.

"Stop daydreaming! We have work to do!"

"But, Queenie, dear," Eugenia sighed, "Cruella's left us, anyway... surely we don't need to keep on doing her dirty work for her?"

"I have been wanting to get my hands on that dratted rabbit for some time. This is a perfect excuse."

"But we told Roger we were going to help him."

Queenie stepped close to Eugenia and gave her a withering, hideous look as only Queenie could.

"Are you a villainess or not, Eugenia?" she hissed.

Eugenia nodded. Of course she was! After all, she had abused Cinderella to the best of her ability and had sent a hitman after her when the dratted girl had become a princess. But the hitman had been killed himself by the royal gaurds, and Eugenia's plans had been foiled. Hardly anyone knew about this incident, surprisingly. Queenie did, however, and knew that Eugenia needed to take her fury out on someone.

"Then let's find the runt and... OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"

Eugenia jumped and stared at Queenie, who was twitching. Oh, dear, not again. The Queen sometimes had a bit of trouble with her train of thought, spouting off random Wonderlandish quips. If this went on, it was going to be a long day.

"Roger said he was in the Dream Suite," Eugenia said and looked up to find that they were now at the steps to the said Suite.

Queenie nodded, charged forward, and pushed her way up the stairs, which was no easy task since her skirt was so large. Eugenia followed and they stood at a window to the Suite.

"How are we going to get in, it's-" Eugenia began, but was cut off when Queenie simply bashed the window with her beefy fist, causing it to shatter.

"IT'S MY UNBIRTHDAY!" Queenie roared as she crawled inside.

Eugenia followed with a bit of a sigh. They weren't being particularly stealthy about this. Once they were inside, Queenie barrelled off towards a bedroom to search for the White Rabbit while Eugenia peered into the main room. Low and behold, upon the blue velvet sofa sat...

Gaston...?

___________________________________
Meanwhile, back inside the Haunted Mansion, Hatter seemed to feel the cold fingers of Death at his heart. His own fingers automatically went to his pocket to touch the little silver teapot that he always carried with him. Just the thought of tea was something of a comfort as he stared into the face of Captain Gore.

"The Hatbox Ghost is sure to be particularly fond of you," Gore said, "He loves hats."

Hatter swayed on the spot. Gore smirked... what a delight it was to toy with foolish mortals. But then Gore recalled that he had once been a mortal himself, with a foolish heart. He sighed and wondered if Wisher needed to give more details, or if her dear readers already knew the tragic tale of the Haunted Mansion's past. Gore assumed they did for the time being.

"I... I don't want to..." Hatter began timidly.

"Don't want to join us?" Gore finished for him, "I'm afraid that is too bad. We already have a room set up for you. It's a bit crowded... full of old junk. But your roommate is lovely."

"R-roommate?" Hatter squeaked.

"Yes. I haven't spoken to her for years, but her name is Priscilla. Some say it's Constance. I suppose she changed her name, the viper."

"Mon dieu," Lumiere murmured again, as he came to the realization that Hatter would be rooming with none other than Gore's wife.

"You'll be staying in the attic," Gore continued, ignoring Lumiere's comment, "There's even a piano up there."

Hatter couldn't even respond anymore. His knees were shaking so badly that it was all he could do to stand up, let alone speak. But he was not prepared for Gore's next observation:

"I see you're still a mortal. Well, bit inconvinient, but we can fix that."

"Wh-what?" Hatter managed.

"You'll have to die, of course. You can't be a ghost without dying first," Gore said logically.

Hatter promptly passed out, sending Lumiere flying across the cold floor. His candles were blown out and they were all bathed in darkness again. Gore sighed.

"Mortals," he grumbled.

- Wisher

Chapter 11: Furrykins and Gore

Chapter 11: Furrykins and Gore

Cruella was almost beside herself. How could she bear to throw her beloved and most expensive fur into the briny moat? As the group walked back through Fantasyland and neared the Castle, Cruella's hand went up to her throat and stroked the raccoon fur. The wicked woman actually felt tears come to her eyes. No, she could not part with Furrykins (as she had no creatively named it). There had to be another way to get information out of the ridiculous Roger Rabbit. Cruella imagined that torturing him would do nicely, but what if the rabbit fainted? Then he would be of no use at all. As they neared the moat, Cruella began to hyperventilate at the awful thought of throwing her beloved fur into it.

"Eugenia, dahling!" she gasped, "I cannot do this!"

"It was your idea, Cruella," Eugenia hissed.

"I know, but... but I've changed my mind!"

"It's too late for that!"

"I can't just toss this gorgeous fur into that dratted moat!"

"Well, if you won't do it, then what can we do?"

Cruella sighed, for she had no idea. Was there another way to gain Roger's trust? She supposed that giving him a big carrot would appease him, but for how long? Cruella sighed and stroked the fur despairingly. Eugenia imagined herself stroking Barbossa's beard in all its scraggly wonder, but her thoughts were soon interrupted by a frustrated snarl from the Queen.

"Well, are you going to throw it in or not?"

"I... I..." Cruella attempted.

"You said you had to as part of of the F.A.," Roger said, raising an eyebrow, "Or was that a lie?"

All three women gulped. Had they been found out? Cruella stared at Roger, who looked back stonily... or as stonily as a cartoon rabbit can. Several silent moments passed. In those moments, Cruella had an inner struggle, Eugenia dreamed of a romantic night with Barbossa, and Roger wished he had stayed in his Toontown Hills home. But what of Queenie? Quite simply, the be-moled woman had had enough of this whole plotline. She snatched the raccoon fur from Cruella's neck and promptly went to the side of the bridge.

"Queeeeeeeeenniiiiiieeeeee!" Cruella screeched.

But Queenie was a woman driven by her own desires. She gave Cruella one short, fierce look. Then she threw the fur into the moat. Although Cruella screamed with rage, the fur floated for a second then sunk out of sight. The three women and the rabbit stood there and looked at the place where the fur had fallen. All four knew that it could never be recovered, for things that fell into the moat were never seen again.

"Well, that's that," Eugenia said after a moment.

Cruella turned and slapped Eugenia sharply across the face in her rage. Then she turned and ran down Main Street. Eugenia gave a whimper of pain once she had gotten over the initial shock and Queenie gave a dark, satisfied chuckle. Roger stared at them both for a second, then turned and started to run for the safety of Coke Corner. Queenie, however, reached out and grabbed his ears again before he could get away. He gave a little shriek of pain.

"Where's the White Rabbit?" she barked.

"I... uh..." Roger stammered.

Eugenia stepped forward and gave Roger an evil look.

"Well, I dare say we shall find out soon enough," she said, "I have a lovely torture chamber with all the furnishings set up for you."

"No!" Roger shrieked, "All right! I'll tell you! He's in the Dream Suite!"

Queenie and Eugenias' eyes widened. So the White Rabbit was living it up without them, eh? Well, he would soon pay... with his fur.

DUN DUN DUN!!!!
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Meanwhile, back in the Haunted Mansion, the Hatter was completely and utterly terrified. If he had been scared before, now he could barely even stand up for fear. The darkness surrounded him, almost suffocating him. He couldn't even scream. He simply stood in the dark hall, trembling uncontrollably, his heart racing.

"Monsieur?" came Lumiere's voice, "Are you there?"

"Y-yes," Hatter managed, "I'm h-here."

Lumiere relit his candles and Hatter breathed a sigh of relief. He wanted to get out of the Mansion. He hurried forward to take Lumiere from his ectoplasm prison. Hatter gasped when he entered the area; it was terribly cold. He got ahold of Lumiere and carried him back down the hall... what he could see of it, anyway.

"We're g-getting out of h-here," Hatter stammered, "I can't t-take this anymore."

"Hurry, Monsieur!" Lumiere said.

Hatter did just that, but was stopped when the pair of doors leading to the exit suddenly slammed shut. Hatter gasped with terror. A loud, mwah-ha-ha-ish laugh filled the deathly still air. It sent shivers down Hatter's spine.

"Leaving so soon?" came the voice that belonged to the laugh, "But we were just getting ready to welcome you!"

"W-welcome me?" Hatter asked, looking around.

"Yes. We have 999 happy haunts here, but there's room for 1000. How good of you to volunteer!"

"But I didn't-" Hatter shrieked, but he stopped when someone materialized before him.

"Mon dieu," Lumiere murmured.

Before them stood the transparent body of a ghost with a terribly tragic past. Hatter could barely breathe.

"Welcome, foolish Hatter, to the Haunted Mansion," the ghost said.

"Wh-who are you?" Hatter asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

"I am Captain Gore," said the owner of that name.

Hatter had never even entered the Mansion before, let alone read about its tragic history. But he had heard stories from the other Disney characters about the mysterious and horrible Captain Gore: that Gore ate kittens, that he was a pirate, that he was the victim of a horrid head transplant gone wrong, that he had murdered his wife. Hatter had once wondered which parts of the stories were true, but now, as he looked into the transparent face of his Ghost Host, he didn't really care. All poor, petrified Hatter knew was that he was just that- petrified at the prospect of being the 1000th resident on the Mansion.

"Your cadaverous palor betrays signs of foreboding, almost as though you detect a disquieting metamorphosis," Gore said, reciting a line from his spiel that he had to say over and over again every day.

Hatter only nodded. He couldn't do anything else at that moment. Which was a shame, for little did he know that Captain Gore was afraid of one thing, and that was something Hatter posessed in his coat pocket...

- Wisher

Chapter 10: A Cruella Manipulation

Chapter 10: A Cruella Manipulation

Poor Roger had come out of hiding expecting many great things to happen that day. He had hoped to see some old friends, take a ride on Space Mountain, and then he had planned to end the day by taking his hot girlfriend on a date at the Blue Bayou. He had NOT expected to have his ears squished in the monstrous hands of the Queen of Hearts only minutes after revealing himself to the outside world.

Roger squirmed to free himself from the Queen’s tight grip. “Hey!” he shouted indignantly, “Let me go, you old hag!”

But the Queen did not hear his feisty remark. Instead she shouted to her wicked friends, rather triumphantly, “I have found the rabbit!”

Eugenia and Cruella approached the Queen slowly; both reluctant to inform the uptight ruler that she had the wrong rabbit.

“Queenie, dahling. I’m afraid that’s the wrong rabbit…” Cruella began (for she was the more daring of the two women).

“WHAT????!!!” The Queen screamed in frustration as she threw poor Roger Rabbit into the air, causing him to land soundly on his bottom.

“Ouch! You really hurt me, lady.” Muttered the wounded animal as he stood up, wiping off his suspender pants angrily. He began to stalk away from the motley crew.

Cruella had an idea, though, and spoke quickly before the Rabbit was out of earshot.

“Oh dear Rabbit!” she yelled, stopping Roger in his tracks, “Please help us, we were only looking for the White Rabbit because… we heard he was in…great danger…yes! And we wanted to help him!”

Roger thought for a moment. He surely didn’t trust the three wicked women, especially not Cruella, who had a very bad reputation in the animal community. But still, the White Rabbit was his cousin, and if he really were in danger…

He turned toward the ladies very slowly, keeping a safe distance. “And why should I believe you?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at Cruella, “How do I know you’re not going to just make a coat out of us both?” He said as he noted the sad fate of the raccoon resting on her neck.

Cruella hadn’t calculated Roger’s intelligence into her evil plan. She thought for a moment.

“Well…you see Roger, dear, I have changed!” she lied, “I am breaking my addiction to fur!”

“Yes, it’s true!” joined in Eugenia, happy to be taking part of the evil manipulation, “I’ve encouraged Cruella here to join ‘Fur-holics Anonymous’.”

“I’m on day 23.”

“Yes, and she was just on her way to fulfill today’s assignment…to..uh..throw her favorite fur into the castle moat. Hence, the raccoon.”

Cruella’s hand instinctively went up to her precious, extremely expensive neck decoration. She did not like this idea one bit. But she was not dim and knew that she had to play along if she was going to get the Rabbit on her side.

She cast a glare at Eugenia, but continued the charade. “Um, yes, I was…just heading to the… moat.”

Roger was not fully convinced. “All right, I think I know where the White Rabbit may be, but first…” he began, “let’s go to the moat, I wouldn’t want you to fall behind on your assignments.”

“Oh, yes of course.” Cruella replied with a weak smile.

And with that, an excited Eugenia, slightly dazed and confused Queen, suspicious rabbit, and very reluctant Cruella made their way towards the castle moat.

-Mickeylover

Chapter 9: Of Darkness and Mistaken Identities

The poor Hatter cowered in his doom buggy, closing his eyes against the oppressive darkness. The possessed buggy went up a staircase and turned into a hall. Hatter opened his eyes to peek at his surroundings and suddenly heard a familiar French accent.

"Mon dieu! Le Chapeau Lune!"

Hatter did not speak French and looked about in confusion.

"Regarde! Regarde!" came the desperate French voice again, and Hatter suddenly saw who was speaking.

Lumiere the candelabra was trapped down a hallway facing Hatter's buggy. Poor Lumiere was floating, trapped in some sort of ghostly spell. He attempted to wave at Hatter, but he was stuck.

"Lumiere!" Hatter cried, relieved to see a familiar face, "What are you doing here?"

Lumiere had calmed down a bit and now spoke in English:

"Those horrible ghosts captured me and left me in this hallway! I was minding my own business in the Beast's Library and one of them... I think it was the little one, Gus... snatched me up and brought me here! I tried to burn his hand, but ghosts can't feel a thing."

"So you were candle-napped? That's horrid!" Hatter said.

"C'est vrai, mon ami," Lumiere sighed, "But now I am trapped here. I don't suppose you could help me?"

Hatter attempted to push his way out of his doom buggy, but the bar held fast. Hatter sighed. He had to help Lumiere... after all, what kind of friend would be be if he just left him in this frightening place? Hatter was finally able to wriggle his way out of the buggy, which growled at him angrily and continued on its way down the hall. Hatter hurried towards Lumiere, his hand outstretched.

Just then, a cold, mysterious wind blew through the Mansion and left Lumiere and Hatter in total darkness.


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Meanwhile, back in Fantasyland, the slowest moving line in the whole Park was slower than usual.

"Why is this taking so long?" Queenie bellowed at a nearby cast member.

The cast member, who was named Wilby, had always been horrified of the Queen of Hearts since his childhood.

"I'm s-sorry, Your Majesty, b-but P-Peter Pan's Flight is having technical d-difficulties," he managed.

Cruella rapped poor Wilby over the head with her cigarette holder and he gave a small squeal of pain.

"Listen, you twerp, we're looking for the White Rabbit," she snarled, "Have you seen him?"

"Oh, um, yes," Wilby said.

"Where?" Queenie roared, lifting poor Wilby into the air by his shirt collar.

"On the Carousel, I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm just a little fella, please don't hurt me, I-"

"Shut up!" Eugenia snapped.

Queenie tossed Wilby to the ground.

"Useless," she hissed, "We shall have to search elsewhere."

"But where, Queenie, dahling?" Cruella asked, "Alice cannot be in this ride since it's broken down. Perhaps the Rabbit is not even with Alice."

"That's true," Eugenia added.

Queenie sighed, gave Wilby a kick, and peered down the road into Fantasyland. She was surprised to see a pair of large white ears near the Teacups. She took off running toward them. Now, as you may have guessed, dear reader, being in the Queen's path was dangerous enough. Being in her way when she was running was very much like being in the path of a ferocious rhineroceros. People screamed and dove to the side as the Queen barrelled onward toward the pair of furry white ears.

"Queenie!" came Cruella's cry from behind, "I don't think..."

"That's not...!" Eugenia began.

But it was too late. The Queen had come to a stop and had seized the ears of none other than Roger Rabbit. Roger had not been seen for years, and yet on the day he had chosen to venture out of his home in the hills of Toontown, bad luck had found him with a vengeance.

- Wisher

Chapter 8: Big Ears, Screaming Children, And A Doom-buggy

Chapter 8: Big Ears, Screaming Children, And A Doom-buggy

Meanwhile, in a mine deep below Disneyland, a character who hadn’t yet been introduced into the story was busy at work on an important project. As he put the finishing touches on his masterpiece, he smiled a goofy smile and his ears wiggled slightly.

Whenever the undersized fellow had seen Merlin roaming the park with his beloved Dulcinea, he had always been filled with awe.

Oh, I wish I could have a hat like Merlin’s…The mysterious runt had always thought in silence. Sure, he’d had his own floppy piece of fabric that he wore as a hat, but that had never quite done the job right, so he’d gotten rid of it. He wanted something much better. He wanted a bona-fide, original wizard hat…with the point-y end and everything.

And he knew a fancy wizard hat was good for so many things. Covering up bald spots was one of them, and our tiny fellow had no hair at all, so he was most in need of this. He also relished the chance to finally cover up his humongous, ungainly ears once and for all. Oh, how he hated those huge ears of his. They weighed him down and made him so clumsy…not to mention the fact that they wiggled uncontrollably at random times. Yes, it was time to finally hood his hearing appendages, so no one else could remark: “Oh, what cute big ears you have!”

He fumed whenever he heard that one.

But the most important attribute of a good hat was that it could be a friend. He had observed many times the silent affection Merlin had shared with Dulcinea, and he wanted to have that to.

So he had created his own wizard hat. He smiled again, this time a proud smile that reached from one huge ear to other huge ear. Oh beautiful hat, he thought as he lovingly caressed its long purple point, I shall name thee…Winnifred.

Little did our silly little friend know that Winnifred was actually William, but that’s a detail that will become apparent later on in the story. Right now, all that mattered was that a new friendship had been born.

And Dopey did so need a friend.

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Eugenia had suggested to her comrades that they first check Peter Pan’s Flight in their search for the White Rabbit, because after all, Alice and Peter were friends and maybe the White Rabbit was with Alice on the ride. Secretly though, Eugenia was relishing the chance to get on a pirate ship because they reminded her of her sweetheart, Barbossa.

So, the three evil matrons stomped their way through Fantasyland, glaring at everyone they saw, much to the dismay of frightened old men everywhere. As they got in line to ride Peter Pan’s Flight, the Queen of Hearts was questioning her friends on where they had last seen the White Rabbit, in an attempt to speed the search along.

“So! Where was the last place the White Rabbit was seen?” asked the Queen, in a gruff, commanding tone.

Eugenia and Cruella had looked at each other helplessly and shrugged, replying that neither had seen the Rabbit in ages.

“THAT’S VERY IMPORTANT!” The Queen had screamed, causing several passers-by to stop and stare (if they weren’t already).

“WRITE THAT DOWN!!!!” The Queen ordered. When everyone just stared back at Her Majesty in confusion, she grabbed an autograph book from a little girl without so much as a thank you, and began to write down the useless clue.

All three ignored the small child’s screams (they were used to that sort of thing by now) and waited patiently in line.

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Meanwhile, our dear Hatter was in way over his over-sized hat at the Haunted Mansion. The stretching room had really done a number on the poor fellow’s nerves. By now, his knees were shaking and he was having a difficult time holding himself up. Once he saw the shadow of the hung man in the ceiling of the stretching room, he decided that Merlin’s hat could find itself, and he was off the case. But those darn CM’s had been no help at all. They just pushed him onward toward the doom-buggies. As his doom-buggy closed down on him with a horrific, final thud, he thought of how appropriately named it was.

For this buggy was certainly bringing him to his doom.

-Mickeylover

Chapter 7: Along Came Queenie

Chapter 7: Along Came Queenie

Back in his dressing room, Jack was delighted with his recent discovery. He had thought of one wish that could make him happy for the rest of his days, or so he thought.

"Oh, great magical hat," he proclaimed, "I wish I had a bottle o' rum."

With a little "pop!", a bottle of rum appeared on a chair. Jack gave a hoot of joy and rushed over to it. In his haste, however, he dropped Dulcinea and stepped on her. Now, you may think, dear reader, that hats can never be angry because they have no emotions. In this case, you would be quite wrong. After being abused so, Dulcinea decided to stop granting any of Jack's wishes. The pirate was happily drinking his alchoholic beverage, however, and could not have known Dulcinea's thoughts.

Oh, but Wisher, you may be saying, hats have no brains! Hats have no hearts!

Once again, you would be wrong. For hats can love and long to be loved, just as people can. Dulcinea could not really recall a time when she had not been with Merlin. She looked out for him, always hiding his bald spot, and he looked out for her. Until recently. Dulcinea did not particularly blame Merlin for not waking up when Jack had stolen her, but really, she was beginning to wonder if he truly, truly loved her. She had wondered this before when Janessa the frog had come into Merlin's life, but Janessa had soon died and that problem was solved. Dulcinea felt bad for Merlin, of course, but she had always wanted to be the one and only in his life, and no slimy little frog was going to stand in her way.

Dulcinea looked up at Jack from her place on the floor. He picked her up after a moment and said,

"I wish I had two well-endowed wenches right here, right now."

Dulcinea refused to grant that wish, and Jack stared at the hat and raised an eyebrow.

"Two. Wenches. Now."

No wenches appeared, so Jack decided to set out and find some on his own. He left Dulcinea behind in the dark dressing room. The poor hat was left wondering when her Merlin would come to rescue her.
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Meanwhile, the Hatter was making his way to the Haunted Mansion. He was really very terrified of the place and he felt his knees trembling as he came to its gate. The Mansion seemed to glare down at him, daring him to enter. Hatter gulped and stepped through the gates. He came to the long porch of the Mansion and regarded the pale woman who stood there.

"Um... I'm looking for a hat," Hatter told her, "Someone stole it. Any chance you've seen someone with a pointy purple hat?"

The woman only raised her arm and pointed to the doorway of the Mansion. Hatter nodded, assuming that she meant she had seen the culprit. Little did Hatter know that she only spoke Gaelic and had no idea what he had said. He also didn't know she was a vampire, but that is another story that shall be told at another time.

So the Hatter walked into the cobwebby darkness, his heart hammering and his hands shaking. What adventures (or midadventures) with the Mansion's residents would be instore for him?
_________________________
Cruella and Eugenia walked past the Castle, glowering at everyone. Glowering was one of Eugenia's favorite passtimes, and Cruella was certain that she herself had already perfected the art. The two wicked ladies marched toward the Wishing Well to discuss where to find bratty little Alice.

"Oh, shut up, Snow White!" Cruella shouted when she heard Snow White's high voice fill the air.

"My Barby loves her voice," Eugenia said.

"Yeah, well, your Barby is a loser."

Eugenia opened her mouth to respond in anger, but was cut short when Cruella suddenly called, "Queenie, dahling!"

Eugenia turned to see the Queen of Hearts coming their way. She smirked. How perfect! If they couldn't find nasty little Alice, the Queen could certainly help them in their quest for the White Rabbit.

"Cruella!" the Queen replied, swinging her flamingo, "How perfectly horrid to see you!"

"You, too, you old crone!" Cruella replied, for it is the custom that when villains greet each other, they must insult one another as a sign of friendship.

"And you, you old bat!" the Queen said, turning to Eugenia, "How's your filthy pirate?"

"Oh, he's-" Eugenia began, but Cruella interrupted her, not wanting to hear about Barbossa.

"Listen, Queenie, dahling, we need to find someone," Cruella said, taking the Queen by her frighteningly buff arm, "He's short, and white, and-"

"You mean Donald Duck? Sorry, Cruella, but I frightened him off this morning by threatening to cook him for dinner."

"No, no, I meant the White Rabbit."

"Oh. Him. Well, I believe I saw him in Adventureland this morning."

"Adventureland?" Eugenia asked, surprised.

"Why, yes. I was taking an early morning ride on the Jungle Cruise and saw him skipping about in the jungle. Very odd, but there you have it."

Eugenia silently wondered what this was all about, but supposed that it was better not to ask. Instead, she said,

"Well, we're looking for him because Cruella thinks he would make a lovely addition to her collection of furs."

The Queen's eyes widened for a moment, but then she remembered that she was a villainess after all and delighted in wicked plans.

"Why, Cruella, what a clever plan!" she said, although something in her heart told her it was wrong to say so, "Of course I'll help! Come, let us look in Fantasyland first."

"But we just came from there," Eugenia said.

The Queen gave her a hideous glare that would have made a weaker woman faint.

"All ways are my ways," she hissed.

Eugenia nodded and the three of them, Cruella, Eugenia, and Queenie, walked back into Fantasyland, glaring at passersby as they went. Little did they know that what would come next would change the course of their lives as villainesses forever.


- Wisher

Chapter 6: That Darn Hat

Once in the Alice ride, Cruella and Eugenia soon realized to their great dismay that all the white rabbits were made of cardboard or wood. So they departed from the ride in disappointment. After talking it over, the two conniving comrades decided their best plan of action was to look for the bratty little Alice. For, where Alice was, there was a good chance the white rabbit couldn’t be far behind.

-------

Jack tried to squeeze on the hat again, but it still didn’t fit him. He considered cutting off some of his dreadlocks but then realized that would be taking it a bit too far.

“Oh you stupid little hat thing. I wish you would just fit my head!”

As soon as he muttered the words aloud to himself, he saw the hat grow slightly larger in size. Filled with awe, Jack once again slowly brought the hat to his head, hesitantly trying it on. IT FIT!

“Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle! I wonder…” he fiddled with the hat some more but, for the life of him, the pirate could not figure out what he had done to make the hat suddenly fit his head.

“I wish I could understand how to work the bloody thing.” He muttered.

No sooner had the words passed Jack’s rum-stained lips when he suddenly completely understood the hat’s purpose. It had the power to make wishes come true.

Now, this, I can have some fun with, thought Jack, with a smirk, imagining the possibilities.

-------

Meanwhile, Merlin and Hatter were just disembarking from their ride along the happiest cruise that ever sailed. But the two were not the happiest character’s that ever sailed, that was for sure.

For one thing, Merlin was deep in sad thought about his beloved hat and the good times they had had together. Hatter on the other hand, was busy writing down notes about every suspicious looking doll and piece of scenery he had seen on the ride.

“That little blondie in Switzerland sure looked like she was hiding something. Did you see the way her eyes shifted back and forth so fast?? It was almost…mechanical. Yes, I will have to look further into this.” Sherlock Hatter furiously scribbled something on his notepad, and then continued, “And I just have a really bad feeling about that big Sun. Did you see that fake smile on his face??? He’s a part of this…I just know it! Merlin? Merlin???”

But Merlin hadn’t heard a word. He was too lost in his own thoughts. At the moment, he had been reliving a splendid memory of him and Dulcinea at the park. Ah, what a day that had been. After a joyful ride on the swings and a sunny picnic on the grass they had sat and reveled in their happiness for hours. Until they had happened to come across a little lost frog. Merlin had taken the creature into his own care and had named his new friend “Janessa”. That had been the start of a beautiful friendship…until…

“Merlin!!! Are you crying??” an obnoxious Hatter shouted loudly, breaking poor Merlin from his deep thoughts.

Merlin quickly wiped away a tear that had crept upon his cheek, “No, I- Of course not!” he sniffed angrily.

“Oh good then! So, who do you think it was, Merlin? The Switzerland girl, or the Sun? OOH! Or the water fountain?? I haven’t ruled him out yet!” he said as he shot a glare in the direction of said water fountain.

But Merlin had simply had enough. He needed to be alone. But, being the nice old man that he was (albeit, he was prone to a few tantrums) he decided he would rid himself of the Hatter graciously.

“Hatter, I really think you should search inside the Haunted Mansion,” he began, “I’m sure there are many suspicious persons in there that may have something to do with all this.”

In truth, the Mad Hatter was more than a bit frightened of the Haunted Mansion, but he didn’t want Merlin to think so, so he agreed.

“Yes, er, yes, I think that would be a splendid idea. Shall we go?”

“Oh, uh, no…Hatter, I’m afraid I will not be accompanying you this time…” he saw the obvious disappointment that registered on Hatter’s face and, feeling a little bit guilty, Merlin continued, “For you see, I, um, have to…keep an eye on…the ant! Yes, the ant! It’s a small job, I know, but you are so much better at this than me and, well, I thought I would give you the more important job.”

The Hatter suddenly brightened and for a moment, he forgot all about his fear of ghosts and floating objects.

“I see what you mean, Merlin! I’m off to inspect the Mansion!” he cried with purpose as he ran toward New Orleans Square, leaving a slightly guilty, but very relieved, Merlin alone.

-Mickeylover

Chapter 5: In Which a Drinking Fountain is Interrogated

Meanwhile, the Hatter and Merlin were making their way to Small World. Merlin rather disliked being followed by the madman and was inwardly groaning every time the Hatter dashed over to an inanimate object to ask it questions. At the moment, Hatter was interrogating a tree.

"Don't you back-sass me! Where we you on the night of May eleventy-first? Don't play games with me, mister!"

Hatter glared at the tree for a moment, which stood in stubborn tree-like silence. Then he shrugged and hurried over to a nearby drinking fountain.

"Mr. Water-de-Fountain!" Hatter barked at it, "What were you doing the night my fine wizard friend's hat was hatnapped?"

He seemed to listen to the fountain, then narrowed his eyes.

"A likely story! Just sitting around and dripping! Well, I'll have you know I'm a trained detective, Water Boy, and-"

"Hatter," Merlin snapped, having had quite enough of the Hatter's current shenanigans, "We need to be on our way."

"Oh, yes, those rotten children. Little do they know I speak at least ten languages fluently! You want to know what they are?"

Merlin sighed. Hatter went on,

"Tea-ish, Sugar Cubese, Teabonics, Doileyish, Teapottery, Crumpetese..."

Merlin rolled his eyes as they walked onward toward the shrine to children that stood on the horizon: It's a Small World. Merlin recalled the last time he had been there... that was back when the boats didn't look like an add for Cool Whip. How long ago that had been. Those had been less trying times, but of course, he and his hat had been together then. He felt the mid-morning sun burn his bald spot and wanted to weep.

"Look!" Hatter shouted, interrupting Merlin's thoughts, "That rock looks awfully suspicious!"

"No, it doesn't," Merlin growled.

He grabbed Hatter's arm and they were finally able to bord a boat for the attraction (there were many odd Hatter moments, but they shall go unrecorded). As Merlin and Hatter rode into the somehow cheerful, multicultural darkness of Small World, Merlin wondered what would occur next and if any of it would lead to the recovery of his beloved hat, which he had always called Dulcinea. Sure, it was a rip-off from his old friend Don Quixote, but it seemed fitting.

"Oh, Dulcinea," Merlin thought to himself as that maddening song began to fill the air, "Where are you?"
_________________
Meanwhile, Cruella was headed for the Alice darkride in order to meet up with Eugenia. In the five minutes that it had taken her to leave Main Street and head into Fantasyland, Cruella had made ten children cry and one old man cry. She considered the old man to be worth extra points. At last, she stomped up to the ediface of "Alice in Wonderland" and peered impatiently around for Eugenia.

"Late!" Cruella growled.

She supposed that Eugenia was unable to leave her darling, ugly old pirate boyfriend's side, but just as Cruella was about to scream with rage, Eugenia appeared around the corner.

"There you are, Eugenia, dahling!" Cruella said.

"Pardon my tardiness, Cruella, but I-"

"Yes, yes, whatever," Cruella snapped, totally uninterested, "Let's go find that White Rabbit."

And with that, the two linked arms and went down the Rabbit Hole... down, down, down...

- Wisher

Chapter 4: Wedding Bells Are Ringing

Chapter 4: Wedding Bells Are Ringing

Cruella thought for a moment about the best way to get herself the elusive White Rabbit. She knew it was a feat she could not accomplish on her own. She needed a partner. Someone as evil and conniving as she was. Then she remembered her best friend, Lady Tremaine. She decided to give the evil matriarch a phone call.

She sat down to her fancy rotary phone and adjusted her fur coat. Today she was sporting raccoon. But soon she would be donning White Rabbit. An evil grin crept across the wicked woman’s face as she imagined how wonderfully the pure white of the fur would compliment her black and white hairstyle.

She dialed and waited for her friend to answer.

“Hello?” came the familiar raspy voice from the other end of the phone.

“Eugenia?” Cruella replied (for it is a little known fact that Eugenia is Lady Tremaine’s first name), “Darling! I need a favor…”

Then Cruella went on to explain her dilemma to her girlfriend, who quickly agreed to assist.

“Why I would love to!” Eugenia began, “This is just perfect, Cruella dear. You see, I’ll need a new white fur to wear in my wedding when my babykins Barbossa (for she and the swashbuckling pirate were an item – to find out more, read the original VF story) finally pops the question! I’m sure it will be any day now, really.”

In truth, Cruella was completely convinced the irresponsible pirate was not willing to commit to his beau Eugenia, but she refrained from saying so.

She also didn’t intend to share the white rabbits beautiful fur with her friend, but she didn’t mention that either. She would use Eugenia’s willing help now and worry about getting the whole rabbit for herself later.

Eugenia was still babbling on about her plans for her future wedding to Barbossa. “…I just can’t wait until he finally asks, Cruella! I already have the entire wedding party planned out. My girls will be such beautiful flower girls, don’t you think?”

Cruella told her friend that she agreed, though in her mind, she knew the sight of homely Drisella and Anastasia walking down the isle was one that would make many wedding guests want to puke.

She brightened, though, when she heard Eugenia mention that Cruella would be her maid of honor.

Maybe she could let Eugenia have a little tiny bit of the rabbit’s coat for her dress. Just a tiny bit.
The two evil ladies said goodbye on the phone and agreed to meet by the Alice in Wonderland ride to begin their search for the poor White Rabbit.

-Mickeylover

Chapter 3: Hats, and Fangirls, and Rabbits! Oh, my!

Oh, the glory of that purple hat! Jack felt it calling out to him. He moved, almost possessed, to his dressing table and snatched it up. He attempted to place in on his head, but he simply had too much hair.

"Oh, bugger!" he growled, "Couldn't ye grow just a little for me, o Purple Hat?"

Merlin's hat remained silent, much to Jack's frustration. He was used to inanimate objects talking to him, and never considered that it was most likely a side effect of all the rum. He tried to shove the hat onto his head, but it refused to stretch. Jack finally gave up with a huff of anger and tossed the hat back onto his dresser.

"Blast!" he growled, "Could it be that ye will fit no one but that batty old wizard?"

If it had the power, the hat would have smirked. But the hat had other powers. Little did Jack know what would become of him once he was taken over by them.
__________________
Meanwhile, Hatter was attempting to escape the angry Jack fangirls. But the fangirls would not budge and Hatter found himself surrounded.

"WE WANT JACK!" the girls shouted in horrifying unison, "WE WANT JACK!"

"But Jack left! Am I not good enough for you?" Hatter squeaked, becoming more frightened by the mob with every passing moment.

There was a great, horrible shout and someone grabbed Hatter's detective hat and hurled it towards the Teacups. Hatter gave a shriek and attempted to escape the fangirls' wrath.

"Merlin!" he cried desperately, "Heeeeeeeellllppp!"

Merlin rolled his eyes and raised his wand. The fangirls gasped and ran away, dissapearing through the Castle. Hatter sighed with relief then ran off to retrieve his detective hat. Merlin hurried after him. Once the hat had been recovered, he approached Hatter.

"Hatter, it's very kind of you to help me like this," he began, "but really, I can take it from here."

"But... that ant! I know he had something to do with this!" Hatter said.
Merlin sighed.

"Hatter, that ant had nothing to do with it. It's impossible."

"No, it's not! You have no idea how ferocious ants are! Didn't you ever see that old Donald Duck cartoon?"

Merlin rolled his eyes. This was going nowhere. He shook his head and marched off toward Small World to investigate there (because, having been so very old for so long, he had decided that children could not be trusted). Sherlock Hatter ran after him, determined to prove himself.

Neither of them saw the ant back at the Stone watch them leave with relief. Flick hadn't meant to get mixed up in the whole thing. He hadn't mean to be Jack's partner in crime. But when the pirate had offered him all the grain he and his colony could ever want, he had given in and spied on Merlin, waiting for the opportune moment when Jack could steal the wizard's hat. And that moment had come last night when Merlin was fast asleep.
_________________
On Main Street, Cruella was plotting an evil plan. She had spoken to Hatter a few days ago that was quite horrible. Their conversation had gone something like this:

"So... tell me about this white rabbit."

Here, Hatter had blinked. Cruella had grinned, sure that the White Rabbit would make a lovely addition to her collection of furs.

"No? What about the Cheshire Cat? Have you seen him recently?"

The Hatter had left, rather frightened of Cruella's plans. Today, Cruella had decided to find the White Rabbit and make him her own.

And she was sure that no one could stop her.


- Wisher

Chapter 2: Sherlock Hatter

Chapter 2: Sherlock Hatter

The Hatter hung up the phone with Merlin suddenly feeling very determined and excited. After all, it wasn’t everyday he had the chance to search for a missing hat. He quickly called the March Hare to inform him that he could not make their usual noontime tea party, and then went searching for his extra-large magnifying glass and his special detective notebook. After he had found all his essentials, the Hatter leapt off in the direction of the Mad Hatter Hat Shop in Fantasyland. When he reached the store, he quickly ran inside. Upon entering the shop, he slowly surveyed the myriad of hats displayed in the store, searching for the perfect one. At last he found it. It was the perfect detective’s hat. In fact, it looked very much like something the Hatter’s hero, Sherlock Holmes, would wear.

“This is it!” he cried in excitement as he raised the detective’s hat in the air, causing some curious passers by to stare.

But the Hatter was used to the stares. He knew people stared because they were drawn to his rugged good looks. He was too much in a hurry now, though, to stick around and revel in his celebrity, so the Hatter ignored the onlookers and hurried out the door. But he didn’t forget to wave to his favorite CM, Regina (who manned the checkout counter) on his way out. He liked Regina because she always hooked him up with free hats.

Then the Hatter ran as fast as he could to the sword in the stone in front of King Arthur’s Carousel where he and Merlin had agreed to meet. He could not see Merlin so he decided to pass the time by studying the sword with his magnifying glass to see if he could spot any clues.

Soon a very suspicious looking ant caught the madman’s attention, but his inspection was interrupted when he heard a noise coming from behind him.

“Psst! Hatter! Over here!” The strange voice angrily hissed.

Hatter straightened up and turned around, thinking he might see Merlin. But instead, he was startled to see a strange-looking figure wearing a large black cape with a hood that covered his entire head.

“AH!” Shouted the Hatter in alarm, “Who are you?!”

“Shush, Hatter!” scolded the hooded creature, “It is I, Merlin!”
Merlin lifted his hood so that it was just high enough so that Hatter could see his face but still low enough to keep his bald spot hidden from public view.

“MERLIN!” the Hatter screamed, much, MUCH louder then his companion would have liked. “I’m so glad you are here! You see I think I’ve had a break in the case! This ant here may be the key to—“

Merlin groaned. This was going to be much more difficult than he had thought. “Hatter, an ant could not have stolen my hat. That is simply impossible.”

Hatter tried to hide his dismay, “I suppose you are right. But now that we have no leads…what do we do?”

Both men thought for a moment…Suddenly the Hatter brightened. “Oh I know! We need to interview suspects!” he said excitedly as he grabbed poor Merlin’s arm and they were off.

-----

It had been more than a few hours since Hatter and an unwilling Merlin had begun their search for the illusive purple hat and Merlin wasn’t too sure they were getting anywhere at all. Hatter wasn’t doing a very good job interviewing “suspects”. His questions had nothing to do with the case and he kept trying to intimidate everyone he spoke to. On top of it all, he became very insistent that EVERYONE refer to him as “Sherlock Hatter”.

At this very moment he was questioning a very confused Alice.
“Now, I want the truth and NOTHING BUT the truth!” he began, “And I don’t want you trying any funny business!”

“But Hatter, I –“ Alice began, while wiping away a tear.

“DO NOT call me Hatter!” the lunatic interjected, “It’s Sherlock Hatter, to you!”

Alice did not like the way the Hatter spoke to her, so she stomped off angrily.

“Wait! Come back here! I have more questions for you!” shouted Hatter, but it was too late. He had driven away yet another suspect.

“There has to be a reason she stalked away like that…I’ll bet all the tea in the world that it’s because she’s in cahoots with that ant I saw at the stone! Yes! That has to be it…”

Merlin sighed inwardly. This was not going well at all. He was worried now that his hat would never be found again. A tear trickled down the poor old man’s face as he thought of losing his hat forever just like he had lost…his sweet frog Janessa. What would he do without his trademark purple hat? Nothing would ever be the same. No one would recognize him without it. And the news would finally get out about his bald spot! He would have no choice but to use that dreaded hair growth cream. But he hated that stuff! It got all sticky and stuck to his fingers and never worked when he had tried it before.

His thoughts were interrupted though, by the overwhelming sound of screaming girls. Hatter and Merlin both looked to where the girls were gathering.

“One at a time, ladies. There’s plenty Jack to go around!” came a drunken voice from the thick of the crowd.

Jack Sparrow. Of course. thought Merlin, who felt a twinge of jealousy when he thought of Jack’s thick head of dreadlocks.

Hatter, on the other hand, still had the mystery on his mind. “A pirate! Of course, who better to be a hat thief?!”

So the Hatter marched through the crowd of crazed fan-girls and made his way toward Jack. He pulled him out of the crowd quite forcefully, prepared to grill the pirate and finally discover the purple hat’s whereabouts.

“Hatter! What’s gotten into you?” a dazed Jack replied.

“It’s Sherlock Hatter.” The Hatter replied, matter-of-factly, “and I have a few questions for you about the disappearance of a certain wizard’s hat…”

“H-Hat? What hat?” Jack stuttered, faltering a bit, then regaining his composure suddenly, “No, mate, I haven’t seen any wizard hat.”

But Sherlock Hatter was not convinced. Before he could ask anymore questions, though, Jack muttered something about having to re-apply his eyeliner and dashed away, leaving a very confused and suspicious Hatter behind to fend for himself with a bunch of angry fan-girls. This could not end well.

----

Jack spoke to no one as he made his way to his dressing room. Once he had entered into the safety of his quarters and was sure no one had followed him, he breathed a deep sigh of relief.

He looked at the treasured item on his dresser and breathed another sigh to see it was still untouched. “Well, hello there luv. Our secret is safe for now.” He said aloud to the object.

For on that dresser sat Merlin’s precious purple hat.

-Mickeylover

So it begins!

Hello out there! Wisher here! And now, the first chapter...

Chapter 1: The hat-napping


The sun rose over Disneyland. Colors were illuminated, birds sang, and all the ghosts from the Haunted Mansion headed home after a joyous night of haunting. Princesses rose from their beds and happily said good morning to their woodland creature friends, pirates did their morning vocal exercises to prepare for a full day of singing, and Harold the yeti practiced his roaring.

Yet all was not well in Fantasyland. Merlin had awoken to discover that someone had hat-napped his pointy purple chapeau, and he was terribly upset. He had called the Mad Hatter, who he thought might have taken his hat as a joke.

"Hatter!" he roared into the phone, "I'll have no more of this nonsense!"

"What are you talking about, Merlin?" Hatter asked, wondering why the batty old wizard was interrupting his morning cup of tea.

"You stole my hat, you tea-obsessed madman!"

"I most certainly did not!"

"But... I... I thought..." Merlin faltered.

Hatter was surprised to hear a long wail from Merlin. The only other time Hatter had known the old wizard to be so upset was when his beloved pet frog, Janessa, had died several years ago.

"My show starts again in just a few weeks! I can't go on like this! What would people say? How would I hide my bald spot?"

Hatter was rather surprised to hear the poor old fellow weeping, but he understood completely. Why, if someone were to steal his hat, he would be horribly incomplete. Something about Merlin's plight touched Hatter's heart and he sighed.

"Listen, Merly..."

"It's Merlin," Merlin snapped.

"...I'll help you find your hat. We'll get to the bottom of this."

Merlin quickly imagined several different scenarios that could occur with Detective Hatter on the loose, each one more horribly embarrassing than the last. Still, what could he do? Hatter was offering his help and Merlin couldn't just say no.

"Thank you, Hatter," he said into his glittery purple phone.

"No trouble at all, old gent! Now, first I'll have to call Marchy, and then find my extra-large magnifying glass, and then put up some "Have you seen this hat?" signs..."

Merlin sighed as Hatter babbled on and on. The old wizard shook his head and wished he could have just said no.

And there you have it. Onward, Mickeylover! Onward!

- Wisher

Welcome to The Disneyland Story!

Hey everybody! (if there IS anybody out there...)

Wisher and I are so excited that you're joining us on this amazing adventure into a Disneyland fantasy world! (too cheesy?) We're just about ready to start the brand new story, so I will let Wisher begin.

Just a reminder: Be sure to check out the "About Us" section over to the side of the page to learn more about me and Wisher. Also remember that we would love to hear feedback from you in the comments sections (after posts) or by emailing us (disneylandstorywriters@gmail.com). Also be sure to email us if you want to subscribe to the site!

FYI: Feedback can mean any of the following: Just letting us know if you like the story, what you think might happen next, what you think SHOULD happen next, or what character's you think should be a part of the story. We would LOVE to hear from you! (We'd really just love to know if anybody READS this thing! hah!) But, please: BE NICE! :)

And now, without further ado, I would like to invite my pal Wisher to begin our exciting new Disneyland Story...

Take it away, Wisher!

-Mickeylover