Chapter 2: Sherlock Hatter

Chapter 2: Sherlock Hatter

The Hatter hung up the phone with Merlin suddenly feeling very determined and excited. After all, it wasn’t everyday he had the chance to search for a missing hat. He quickly called the March Hare to inform him that he could not make their usual noontime tea party, and then went searching for his extra-large magnifying glass and his special detective notebook. After he had found all his essentials, the Hatter leapt off in the direction of the Mad Hatter Hat Shop in Fantasyland. When he reached the store, he quickly ran inside. Upon entering the shop, he slowly surveyed the myriad of hats displayed in the store, searching for the perfect one. At last he found it. It was the perfect detective’s hat. In fact, it looked very much like something the Hatter’s hero, Sherlock Holmes, would wear.

“This is it!” he cried in excitement as he raised the detective’s hat in the air, causing some curious passers by to stare.

But the Hatter was used to the stares. He knew people stared because they were drawn to his rugged good looks. He was too much in a hurry now, though, to stick around and revel in his celebrity, so the Hatter ignored the onlookers and hurried out the door. But he didn’t forget to wave to his favorite CM, Regina (who manned the checkout counter) on his way out. He liked Regina because she always hooked him up with free hats.

Then the Hatter ran as fast as he could to the sword in the stone in front of King Arthur’s Carousel where he and Merlin had agreed to meet. He could not see Merlin so he decided to pass the time by studying the sword with his magnifying glass to see if he could spot any clues.

Soon a very suspicious looking ant caught the madman’s attention, but his inspection was interrupted when he heard a noise coming from behind him.

“Psst! Hatter! Over here!” The strange voice angrily hissed.

Hatter straightened up and turned around, thinking he might see Merlin. But instead, he was startled to see a strange-looking figure wearing a large black cape with a hood that covered his entire head.

“AH!” Shouted the Hatter in alarm, “Who are you?!”

“Shush, Hatter!” scolded the hooded creature, “It is I, Merlin!”
Merlin lifted his hood so that it was just high enough so that Hatter could see his face but still low enough to keep his bald spot hidden from public view.

“MERLIN!” the Hatter screamed, much, MUCH louder then his companion would have liked. “I’m so glad you are here! You see I think I’ve had a break in the case! This ant here may be the key to—“

Merlin groaned. This was going to be much more difficult than he had thought. “Hatter, an ant could not have stolen my hat. That is simply impossible.”

Hatter tried to hide his dismay, “I suppose you are right. But now that we have no leads…what do we do?”

Both men thought for a moment…Suddenly the Hatter brightened. “Oh I know! We need to interview suspects!” he said excitedly as he grabbed poor Merlin’s arm and they were off.

-----

It had been more than a few hours since Hatter and an unwilling Merlin had begun their search for the illusive purple hat and Merlin wasn’t too sure they were getting anywhere at all. Hatter wasn’t doing a very good job interviewing “suspects”. His questions had nothing to do with the case and he kept trying to intimidate everyone he spoke to. On top of it all, he became very insistent that EVERYONE refer to him as “Sherlock Hatter”.

At this very moment he was questioning a very confused Alice.
“Now, I want the truth and NOTHING BUT the truth!” he began, “And I don’t want you trying any funny business!”

“But Hatter, I –“ Alice began, while wiping away a tear.

“DO NOT call me Hatter!” the lunatic interjected, “It’s Sherlock Hatter, to you!”

Alice did not like the way the Hatter spoke to her, so she stomped off angrily.

“Wait! Come back here! I have more questions for you!” shouted Hatter, but it was too late. He had driven away yet another suspect.

“There has to be a reason she stalked away like that…I’ll bet all the tea in the world that it’s because she’s in cahoots with that ant I saw at the stone! Yes! That has to be it…”

Merlin sighed inwardly. This was not going well at all. He was worried now that his hat would never be found again. A tear trickled down the poor old man’s face as he thought of losing his hat forever just like he had lost…his sweet frog Janessa. What would he do without his trademark purple hat? Nothing would ever be the same. No one would recognize him without it. And the news would finally get out about his bald spot! He would have no choice but to use that dreaded hair growth cream. But he hated that stuff! It got all sticky and stuck to his fingers and never worked when he had tried it before.

His thoughts were interrupted though, by the overwhelming sound of screaming girls. Hatter and Merlin both looked to where the girls were gathering.

“One at a time, ladies. There’s plenty Jack to go around!” came a drunken voice from the thick of the crowd.

Jack Sparrow. Of course. thought Merlin, who felt a twinge of jealousy when he thought of Jack’s thick head of dreadlocks.

Hatter, on the other hand, still had the mystery on his mind. “A pirate! Of course, who better to be a hat thief?!”

So the Hatter marched through the crowd of crazed fan-girls and made his way toward Jack. He pulled him out of the crowd quite forcefully, prepared to grill the pirate and finally discover the purple hat’s whereabouts.

“Hatter! What’s gotten into you?” a dazed Jack replied.

“It’s Sherlock Hatter.” The Hatter replied, matter-of-factly, “and I have a few questions for you about the disappearance of a certain wizard’s hat…”

“H-Hat? What hat?” Jack stuttered, faltering a bit, then regaining his composure suddenly, “No, mate, I haven’t seen any wizard hat.”

But Sherlock Hatter was not convinced. Before he could ask anymore questions, though, Jack muttered something about having to re-apply his eyeliner and dashed away, leaving a very confused and suspicious Hatter behind to fend for himself with a bunch of angry fan-girls. This could not end well.

----

Jack spoke to no one as he made his way to his dressing room. Once he had entered into the safety of his quarters and was sure no one had followed him, he breathed a deep sigh of relief.

He looked at the treasured item on his dresser and breathed another sigh to see it was still untouched. “Well, hello there luv. Our secret is safe for now.” He said aloud to the object.

For on that dresser sat Merlin’s precious purple hat.

-Mickeylover